I think. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. The video featured audio from George's Wake Up America bit combined with imagery of events and people in today's society. "Dont just teach your children to read. 1. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. "People are fucking nuts. I just dont have as many people who believe it. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. By programmers in one hour. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. Whatever you do dont make it go viral! An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0 No, wait, hold on . A cat . They dont give a fuck about you. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. They own everything," the quote reads. They own all the important land. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Lobbying, to get what they want. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. Enjoy! You think the schools are the way they are by accident? Carlin is funny as hell. Carlin was a New York City-based stand-up comedian, social critic, writer, and actor, best known for his unconventional and vulgar comedy routines. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ", 76. Teach them to question everything. leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court. Thats against their interests. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. ", 63. Everybody says they suck. Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. Even right-wingers are getting tired of their queerphobic schtick. Then you're just what they're looking for. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. Everybody's . "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. 28. r/antiwork. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. Its because volunteers work for no pay. ", 77. ", 60. "It's never just a game when you're winning. It will not be with jack-boots. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. Change). "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. "It's called the American dream . The game is rigged. This is what we have to offer. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. Others see it half empty. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. But once the child is born? Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. Thats what the owners count on. '", 93. But, he is wrong here. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. Try spelling Evian backward. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! Thats the problem. AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. They don't fall out of the sky. But once you're born, you're on your own. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 15. ", 90. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. They're all in favor of the unborn. George Carlin on The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder 1998 RayHamburger 95K views 4 years ago George Carlin on the Illusion of Choice in Politics. "In America, anyone can become president. It's kind of bread-and-butter liberal (which during the counterculture 60s was pretty radical, but maybe not very en vogue with a younger crowd nowadays who are a bit more lefty). We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. ", 114. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. You don't. You have no choice! "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. I don't like cats. 234. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. It doesn't matter what side you're on. Germany lost the Second World War. ", 19. You have no right to complain. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Keep your circle small. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. Am I right? Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. ", 32. AddThis sets this cookie to ensure that the updated count is seen when one shares a page and returns to it, before the share count cache is updated. of American cultural paradoxes.. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. After that, they dont wanna know about you. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. Everybodys going to save something now. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ", 92. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. They own you. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? "I was a loner as a child. I don't always agree with everything he says, but I always listen Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996 . Thats all it is. After that, they don't want to know about you. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' ", 28. George Carlin. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. You don't. You have no choice. Obedience, respect for authority. They own, and control the corporation. You only get to hear cats. ", 11. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. They want obedient workers. ", 108. Just like homeless people. ", 120. ", 9. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. What do you get at the end of it? I mean, life is tough. ", 27. But He loves you. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. ", 102. Broadly speaking. The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. George Carlin. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Its called fucking with people! ", 2. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. Don't miss a beat. You voted them in. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. This is the best we can do, folks. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. This cookie is used for email services. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. Individualists. Over time, though, his success grew. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. They should be giving their money to you. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. ", 80. This is a consent cookie set by Dailymotion to store the CCPA consent string (mandatory information about an end-user being or not being a California consumer and exercising or not exercising its statutory right). Everybody complains about politicians. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. '", 78. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. ", 72. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. Toothpicks? You have no choice. And nobody seems to notice. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? ", 62. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. The Great George Carlin. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' Everybody says they suck. ", 8. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. Set by Bluekai, this cookie stores anonymized data about the users' web usage in an aggregate form to build a profile for targeted advertising. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. On Election Day, I stay home. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. "I put a dollar in a change machine. If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. This cookie is set by Prebid Server. Because you have the illusion of choice. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' ", 86. You know what they want? ", 7. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Where are these people hiding? The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . Forget the politicians. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. '", 70. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? You should die first; get it out of the way. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. ", 59. A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. This cookie is set by Segment to track visitor usage and events within the website. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. No president has done right by us. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. ", 36. RIP George Carlin. They never mention that part to us, do they? Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. "Laugh often, long and loud. Which doesn't make any sense at all. ", 13. ", 4. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. ", 9. 43. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . George Carlin Quotes On . Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' Then youre just what theyre looking for. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It will not be with jack-boots. Its a big club and you aint in it. ", 121. Everybody complains about politicians. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. Fascism won it. Weve added years to life, not life to years.
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